Unit 5 Subtle Mind Practice

As I compare my frustration with the loving kindness exercises I found the subtle mind exercise so much easier.  I was able to completely relax and transcend into another level of consciousness that I don’t think I have ever reached. When I began focusing on my breathing I was able to tune out the ticking of the fan, a lawnmower running outside my window, and even my 4 year old son snoring during his nap. My mind was EMPTY and it felt great. I came out of the exercise feeling so energized.

Personally when I’m lacking spiritually I find that my mental state is not what it should be and I’m often in a physiologic funk. Personally, each of these, spiritual, mental, and physical, all seem to feed off one another. There are days when I have all the energy in the world, my mind is clear, and I know that God is watching over me. Then there are those days when I barely have the energy to literally roll out of bed to face the day, and I am wonder what God’s plan is for me.  Staying on a schedule also helps me stay focused. I have recently started reading “What a Husband Needs from his Wife: Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually” by Melanie Chitwood. This book has provided some great information and tools on how I can grow stronger in my spirituality all while maturing into the wife God wants me to be for my husband. Every time I open my bible and read just a few scriptures, I find myself overcome with peace; my worries seem to be less, and I can breathe as sigh of relief.

"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon- instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our window today."

                                                                        ~Dale Carnegie

Unit 4 Loving Kindness practice

I consider myself a very forgiving person, but after this week I learned that I'm not as good as I thought I was. I found participating in the exercise a little difficult because of the long pauses in between segments, but fully understood the reason for it. Just as we condition our body through strength training, cardiovascular exercises, and proper diet and nutrition, we should also consider conditioning our mind. The "mental workout" that the loving kindness audio file offered can be considered a tool for a stronger more controlled mind. Practicing control over our thoughts is essential to controlling the rest of our life as well.

After years of feeling that I had finally reached a peaceful place in my life, this exercise gave me a rude awakening. I realized that I still hold a lot of anger. By the end of the exercise I felt like my heart had opened just enough for me to actually want to work toward healing a bridge that has been broken for a long time.

I would definitely recommend this exercise to others, but I would encourage them to practice it many times as our hearts are often times more guarded than we think.

To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
                                                              ~David Viscott

Unit 3 Reflection

As I reflect on my life and where I am with regard to human flourishing, I feel like I’m headed in the right direction. Its seems as though my life is coming full circle and I am finding my way back to a world that I either forgotten or even known for that matter. I have been able to recall specific events that caused my psychological health to spiral out of control at which time my physical health slowly followed. As an adolescent I felt as though I couldn’t speak of the emotional pain I was enduring daily yet I had no idea what was causing me to physically ache to the point of being bed ridden. It wasn’t long before I started to lose faith in God and question why this was happening. It was during my employment at a substance abuse facility that I many of my “ah-ha” moments. As a director for the female unit I sat in on many counseling sessions and group therapies in which young women shared their life struggles with family dysfunction, sexual/physical/emotional abuse all of which seemed to lead up to their drug use. As I got older, I realized that my old wounds could not merely be bandaged and forgotten. I made the decision that I was not going to play victim to my emotions any longer. John Vance Cheney once wrote, “The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”After many years of crying I am starting to see my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I was reminded this week as I sat in church that when we are not hungry, often times it means we are sick. The same should be thought about our health. If we do not feed our body, mind, and spirit we begin to starve ourselves of the life that we so desperately seek.  

For this week’s assignment I was asked to rate my physical, spiritual, and psychological well being as well as making a plan of action on how to meet one goal of each. Today, on a scale of 1-10 I feel….

Physical (5)- After two neck surgeries in two years my body is still having difficulty healing. Although my activity level has increased since surgery (I’m running againJ), I still suffer moderate/severe pain that slows me down at times. It would be foolish of me to believe that I will ever reach a 10 on this scale, but I do see a 7.5 or 8 in my future. Goal and plan of action: At the present time, I have come to somewhat of a plateau in my physical health. With some restrictions set in place by my surgeon I have managed to reach my physical goal of running 3 miles at least 3 times weeks to keep my body conditioned. I have a great passion for fitness so learning that weight lifting was out of the question for a while I have scaled back by using resistance bands. I’m awaiting my next appointment at which time I’m sure these goals will change again.

Spiritual ( 6)- It wasn’t until I was face with a rocky marriage that I realized my spiritual needs. My husband and I came from different religious backgrounds, which until I was married didn’t think it mattered much. I found out very quickly that it makes all the difference in the world. He was raised Catholic and I Church of Christ (non-denominational); two very different approaches. Once we decided to live by God’s word and not man’s, our marriage has flourished immensely. Goal and plan of action: “Let go and Let God”. It seemed so simple, but it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Once I learned to put all of my trust in him, my worries seemed to work themselves out. My goal is to be all that God wants and needs me to be. In order to complete this goal I plan to spend more time studying the Bible. If God gave his only Son to die on the cross for my sins… surely I can find 15-20 min a day to read his word.   

Psychological (5)- I feel like this aspect of my health is a little lower than normal. I have found myself getting somewhat overwhelmed the last few weeks. With school, kids, extra-curricular activities, Dr visits, and everything else that seems to be piling up on my plate; I am literally suffering from mental fatigue. I am the type of person who likes to spend quality time in my own mind, but here lately I seem to be sharing that time with others. Goal and plan of action: My goal is to get back on a schedule that gave me time to focus on myself. My goal is to get back into a meditation routine in which I can clear my mind of the day to day crap that is starting to build up. I’m starting to see that my “daily routine” is not a very good one and needs to be updated. CHANGE-CHANGE-CHANGE…. It never stops.

I f was unable to open the initial audio file so I used Rainbow meditation that was provided by the professor. After participating in the audio file I felt more relaxed than when I started. I felt as though I had had time to refocus my energy for that day; I was able to see all of my colors shine and it felt great. I have forgotten the sense of peace that get from doing such exercises. I tend to find more guided relaxation/meditations that I can download for personal use.

Rainbow meditation

http://health.jbpub.com/managingstress/6e/audio.cfm

Reflection- Unit 2

As I reflect on the audio file for the autogenic training technique or "suggestive thinking" I am reminded of how powerful our mind is when we allow it to open beyond our norm. After listening I was able to relax and actually listened to it twice. Within the last 5 years my physical, mental, and emotional health has gone from good to bad and then to worse. As you may have read in my previous posting I chose to become a stay-at-home wife and mother after many years of nursing. I just knew in my gut that being home with my family was going to alleviate all the stressors that had occurred because I worked outside the home. I was going to be able to have the laundry done, cooked our meals, enjoy watching my children grow, and build a stronger relationship with my husband, and help manage our family farming business. Shortly after starting my new full-time job, I became depressed, irritable, and often felt like I was being taken advantage of by my family and friends. Evidently when you become a “domestic engineer” society sees you sitting at home watching soap operas and eating Bon-Bons. I am busier now than when I had a full time job. What the BLEEEP! I quit working so I would have less stress. Now I was back in the same crazy boat but in a different profession. With my educational background I knew there had to be more to life than taking anti-depressants and crying myself to sleep because I was so exhausted. In 2009, I had my “ah-ha” moment. I realized that yes I lived by a schedule, as most mothers do, but that schedule was by no means prioritized. Why did I quit my job? To strengthen my marriage, enjoy my children, and reduce my stress level. What have I done to better these areas of my life? Quit my job. That was it. All I had done was quit my job. I had not done anything to feel closer to my husband and we were both feeling the tension. Our children are so active we are constantly on the go which means that my domestic duties are often time left undone. Add being a college student and managing a family business to that at you have a full blown circus. It was time for a change. I had to reorganize my family…not just myself. It was during this transition, that we all realized that being MOM does not give your superhero strength. We are a family unit and everyone has a role- yes even our 4 year old. I take time for myself at least 30 minutes every day. This means no kids, no husband, no school, NOTHING. I take time with my husband as we have agreed on date night once a week. This has allowed us to go out together without our children and just be “us”. It gives us both something to look forward to throughout the week. Finally, I’m enjoying my children so much more. It may sound odd, but I set aside time for my children, together and separately. I do this because one is 4 and the other 12 which means they need their mother in different ways. When we are all together as a family, they have my undivided attention. As a parent, or just as an individual, we need to be reminded that we cannot change the past and we cannot control the future, all we have is today, so enjoy it. We can’t expect to see positive changes in our life if we continue the same negative patterns. When I wake up in the morning I now start my day by choosing to be happy. No one can make that decision for me… I’m in control!

Welcome Statement- unit 2

Hello all. This is my first blogging experience so bear with me. My name is Sarah and I'm looking forward to hearing from all who subscribe to this blog. As you may be able to conclude from my blog title, I am a stay at home wife and mother. Once a career driven woman, I opted to take a break from my busy life as a nurse so that I could watch my children grow and build stronger relationship with my husband. I felt like I was missing out on so much of our lives as a family, all the while I was caring for other individuals and their family. Although I feel fortunate and very blessed to have this rare opportunity, this particular career path definitely took a toll on my mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical health when I started full-time. "Domestic Engineering" is by far the hardest job I have ever had, but I have faith that the payoff will be more rewarding than any paycheck I will ever receive. I look forward to sharing my thoughts and experiences with you.