The mini practice of universal loving kindness could not have come at a better time. As I repeated the meditation I felt the anger and resentment toward my mother lighten ever so slightly. I realize that I am not the only one that has been hurt and is trying to heal. "May I assist all individuals in finding health, happiness, and wholeness." (Dacher, 2006) I pray that we can help one another find the happiness we both deserve, and that one day we will have a relationship in which we can "gain freedom from suffering" (Dacher, 2006)
After starting the integral assessment it was clear I needed to focus my energy on my biological health. A few weeks ago I was informed by my surgeon that I would be having yet another neck surgery, This makes 3-third times a charm right? My body has been unable to successfully reproduce bone in my cervical area so that I may have a complete fusion. Although I have increased my supplement use and spend more time outside (vitamin D) I still feel like there is more that I can do to hep my body's health. I will continue to incorporate prayer into my daily routine, as well as the cross training exercise of yoga. My goal is to start a new guided meditation program that focuses on chronic pain and biological healing. I so desperately want to feel complete and my body seems to be the missing peice of the puzzle. I beleive that our daily struggles and trials are hidden lessons. It wasn't until I learned of my first surgery that I realized how precious my life and health really were to me. Everyday I wake I thank the good Lord that I am one day closer to completely understading my purpose.
Sounds like you are on the right track for recovery in a variety of areas. As with the concepts of loving kindness, I will pray for you as well that all things will work out in your favor and for the best of each and every person involved. I sure hope that you and your mother will continue to recover. Be blessed with your next surgery.
ReplyDeleteRelationships withour mothers can be so frustrating and complicated. I was able to make peace with my feelings about my mom when I realized that besides being my mom, she is just a woman with her own hurts, baggage and history that have nothing to do with me. It made it so much easier to relate to her and love her just like she is. Blessings.
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